When I was five years old, if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have told you that I was going to be "a dancer."
If you had asked me the same question two weeks ago, I would still tell you..."a dancer."
Some of my far-fetched dreams have come and gone. But I always knew I was made for one thing. I was made to dance. So...maybe I wasn't supposed to be "the candyman" or "the firefighter"...But I knew deep down inside that I was made for this.
July 18th, 2010- I set off to taste a little bit of the burning passion that had been growing in me for all these years. I went to dance with The Storling dance Theatre in Olathe, Kansas for two long weeks! It was completely amazing! I enjoyed the pressure, blood, sweat, tears, and even the long grueling hours I danced everyday, but there was still something missing; something I didn't understand. Don't get me wrong, I was dancing for a Christian company. These people love God- with their whole hearts, but that still didn't provide satisfaction for me. There was something that had to be resolved in my own heart. Why was I there? Sure, it felt good to know that I was working hard for something that I loved to do, but was that enough? Not for me. When the curtain closes at the end of the performance, the only thing I'd be left with is a faded applause ringing in my ears, and rose petals that would soon wilt. I was made for something more than this.
The last day I danced with Storling, I ended up taking a lyrical class. It was the last day of the Intensive, the last class of the day, and my last class with this wonderful company and I was about to learn more than I had ever learned before. I was going to give it everything I had no matter how tired I was. That's where God showed up.
Sure enough, I danced hard, just like I knew I would! But this time God moved through me. I danced to the song, "Everything" by Lifehouse that afternoon and God truly became everything through my movement. I've leanred that He is so much more than the faded appluase at the end of a show, and more than hundreds of wilty rose petals that are given to show support. He is my dream.
So..if you were to ask this little girl with a big dream what I wanted to be TODAY...I'd have to say, "a dancer... and soooo much more."
Absolutely beautiful! Moments like these really are what defines who we are....and who we are meant to be. I'm so thankful for all those who sacrificed, to help you see your dream even more clearly.
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful! I am so glad that you wrote this!
ReplyDeleteCourtney!
ReplyDeleteThat last day, last dance was so powerful for me too.
I'm so blessed to have met you and to have had the opportunity to dance with you for 2 weeks!
I love you. Keep chasing Jesus, friend :)
Aaaaah!!!! Courtney! That is so amazing. I'm so glad you didn't let yourself be satisfied with what the world says is important (having the title "dancer", applause, etc.)... when God is our everything, He can do so much more through us. And your dancing will be that much more powerful, because it isn't you movie, but the Spirit of God moving through you. Keep going, girl! I love you!
ReplyDeleteDear dear Courtney! I think maybe some of that ....much, much more could include writing! You, my sweet, have already touched lives with your very being here on this earth. God has blessed you with many gifts- talents, passion, determination, stamina, sensitivity, strong will, physical strength, beauty, humility, intellect, the list goes on and on. And why has God given you so much? Because He knows that you will be faithful to do just exactly what you have done here....give it all back to Him to do as He wishes with those gifts through you; letting Him be your everything, your every gifting. Thankful that knowing and loving you is part of God's plan for me.
ReplyDeleteYou guys all encourage me way more than you'll ever know!
ReplyDeleteMom- I would definitely say that this was a life- defining moment for me! Thank you for making "going" even a possibility. :)
Jami- Even writing about it doesn't even really do that class justice, huh? God is good. I'm going to miss you. :/
Mary- I'm so so so thankful that God opened my eyes through this experience! It's so exciting to know that I'm being used as a vessel to carry the beauty of Jesus in the earth! I love you too!
Jan- Ahhhh! Where do I begin with you? "Thanks" doesn't quite say what I'm trying to express. I feel as though we have many of the same passions, and it makes me sad that we don't live closer to be able to share them with each other...But God has a plan. I'm so very thankful, that so very long ago, when I was just a little girl, God knew that we were destined to re-unite, and be able to share our lives together! I love you! And I am so, so very thankful that 10 years ago was not the end! Much love.
Courtney, I love you, Girl. And I love that our dreams shape as we grow. I always had big ones - and like you, the chance for some of mine has come and gone. But I loved the day when I realized I had work to do if I was going to be available when the doorways came along toward my dreams. And then I love recently when I've realized that what I really want to do is give, not take. Applause and roses - that's taking - and there's no doubt those things feel wonderful. But working hard and making something excellent (like a performance) and doing it with the intense passion and hope that God will move through it - that's giving. And it's what we're made to do. I'm so glad you got both of those experiences while you were there.
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